Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Easy Button

Dudes. Imagine life here in the US — or indeed, pretty much anywhere in the Western world — is a massive role playing game, like World of Warcraft except appallingly mundane, where most quests involve the acquisition of money, cell phones and donuts, although not always at the same time. Let’s call it The Real World. You have installed The Real World on your computer and are about to start playing, but first you go to the settings tab to bind your keys, fiddle with your defaults, and choose the difficulty setting for the game. Got it?
Okay: In the role playing game known as The Real World, “Straight White Male” is the lowest difficulty setting there is.



  1. And the only thing that anyone should ever bother to do is play the game full-on, without complaint, and hope and pray that like-minded, better players will take them under their wing so that they can progress some levels and do likewise for up-and-coming players.

  2. It's a great model, just about the most concise one I've seen.

  3. I would suggest the name of the game (for straight white males) is "Libertopia". They never had it so good, and are generally too fucking slovenly to get it...

  4. Really? SWM is the'easy' setting? Who would want to play a game at that level? Is it possible to carry-over ones progress to the next level if the game is won at this level?

  5. "Who would want to play a game at that level?"

    Lazy, fat, stupid motherfuckers who, woefully unqualified, have sampled from their life of privilege a profound sense of entitlement and a belief in their own greatness that borders on sociopathy? And who feel they deserve a "do-over" should things go pear-shaped? You know, the BD types.

  6. Eh, easier is always better when you only have one chance and one life.

    While I think his point is true all else being equal, all else is not equal. Better a rich black lesbian than a poor white guy. Us 99% need to keep our eyes on the real prize and not let the side skirmishes distract from the larger goals of our coalition, knowhatimean?